It is a strange thing, the mind. The way that it allows you to miss someone who was never there or ever yours in the beginning.
It is both a blessing and a curse to feel deeply.
On this evening my thoughts drift to what might have been. We would be feeling so blessed that fate or whatever it was brought us together. Our hearts would be full with the love of one another’s. The touch of our bodies next to each other would be electric. And your head would be consumed by the curiosity of what was going on in my head like mine would about yours. That’s all they will ever be. Thoughts of what might have been and never will be.
My eyes feel so tired lately. And I don’t know if it is from crying almost everyday because of the sorrow you have brought upon me or if they are weary from facing the world that you are no longer a part of. All I know is that you are tied to the reason.
It’s a constant battle. Everyday you drift back to my mind. I become consumed as I remember the joy I once felt, followed by the despair you left in my heart. I’m really struggling. I need to find the hope that went away on the day I lost you.
I miss the person that I thought you were. Before the birth of the child. The one who awoke my heart with painless words and darkened my mind with a possibility that we never reached. Your handsomely crooked smile disguised the truth from both of us. I fear that I will never let go of the act you played. Now I only see a stranger staring back at me.
It’s like drowning but you just won’t fucking die."
Urban Dictionary definition of unrequited love (via 42morrow)
"There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever."
Grey’s Anatomy: Meredith Grey (via azo82)